<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Jenny by RoseGoldAlice</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27983184">Jenny</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseGoldAlice/pseuds/RoseGoldAlice'>RoseGoldAlice</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, One Shot, Romantic Fluff, Short One Shot, Tooth-Rotting Fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:14:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,160</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27983184</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseGoldAlice/pseuds/RoseGoldAlice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>John is just returning home from a date when he receives a series of cryptic messages from Jamie. Will this ruin their friendship?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jamie Fraser/Lord John Grey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Jenny</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John closed his door and sighed happily. Setting his keys down on the counter, he pulled out his phone to find two new messages from the guy he just met up with.</p><p>“I had a good time today.”</p><p>“Should we do this again sometime?”</p><p>John smiled and set his phone down to get some water while he decided how to respond. He had a good time too. They hadn’t done anything too exciting, just went to the park and fed some ducks before getting coffee, but Tim was funny and smart and as far as first dates went, this wasn’t bad.</p><p>
  <em>I wouldn’t mind getting to know him better. </em>
</p><p>He didn’t want to seem too eager though, so he switched over to Snapchat before responding. Among his unopened snaps was one from Jamie Fraser. His chest tightened like it always did when he thought about Jamie.</p><p>
  <em>Jesus, John, get it together.</em>
</p><p>John had been trying to get over Jamie ever since his disastrous attempt to make a move on him. Jamie had shut him down under no uncertain terms, although they had remained friends. They were finally in a place that wasn’t awkward and John was ready to move on, or at least try to. It would be nice if his heart would stop skipping beats when he thought about Jamie, though. Rolling his eyes at himself, he opened the snap. Jamie was outside, wearing a gray hoodie with the hood up so his red curls poked out around his face. He was looking straight at the camera, and it read:</p><p>“Jenny, Darling, you’re my best friend”</p><p><em>What on earth....</em>John thought as he took his water to the couch and sat down. Jamie had never been one for cryptic messages, this was unusual. After a moment’s consideration, he took a selfie of himself drinking water and wrote:</p><p>“Did you mean to message your sister?”</p><p>He sent it and leaned back, putting his feet on the ottoman and crossing his legs. Almost immediately, he heard the Snapchat notification and started. It was Jamie again. He must have been waiting for a response. This time, Jamie was looking up and to the left, and the angle really emphasized his jawline and cheekbones. And long lashes. It read:</p><p>“But there’s a few things that you don’t know of”</p><p>“Well that cleared things up nicely.” John muttered to himself. He stared at his phone for a long minute before sitting up and snapping a picture of himself leaning forward on his elbow, his chin resting in his hand.</p><p>“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re on about”</p><p>He sent it and stared at his phone, waiting. Sure enough, Jamie responded immediately. He was looking down and lightly touching his lip with two fingers. John felt his heart stutter and it took a second before he could read the text.</p><p>“Why I borrow your lipstick so often”</p><p>This phrase rang a bell somewhere in the back of John’s mind. He read it out loud slowly, trying to remember where he had heard it. He couldn’t grasp it though, so he took a selfie pursing his lips and wrote</p><p>“All natural, baby”</p><p>He hesitated for a second, wondering if calling Jamie “baby” was crossing a line, but decided it was innocuous enough. He sent the message and waited. Jamie took longer in responding this time, so John began mulling over the confusing messages. They weren’t random, John knew. They triggered a memory but he couldn’t grasp it. His phone chirped and he opened Jamie’s next message. Jamie had taken off his hoodie and was lying on his bed with an arm above his head, his red hair spilling around his head like a halo. He was biting his lip and looking to the side. John couldn’t breathe for a second. His eyes darted from Jamie’s defined biceps to his full lips and back again before he read the text.</p><p>“I’m using your shirt as a pillowcase”</p><p>John’s hair stood on end. In the snap, Jamie was looking at what appeared to be John’s sweatshirt wrapped around a pillow. Suddenly it slotted into place. It was a song. Jamie was singing a song. A song about best friends becoming lovers. There was a whole trend on TikTok based on this song.</p><p><em>What in the actual fuck is going on?</em> was John’s first coherent thought.</p><p><em>Is he serious? </em>was his second.</p><p>A few years ago, John had thought there was something brewing between them, but Jamie had made it extremely clear that he was mistaken. John had been almost certain Jamie was flirting with him but when John had tried to hold his hand, Jamie had frozen and said,</p><p>"John, you are my best friend but if you try that again I will kill you.”</p><p>John had not tried it again and they had both decided separately to pretend like it never happened. It had taken months for John to be able to be around Jamie without wanting to die, and even longer for him to get to a point where he could start seeing other people. He definitely wasn’t completely over Jamie but he was working on it, and now this.</p><p>
  <em>What in the bloody hell is he playing at? </em>
</p><p>John was starting to get angry. Was Jamie being serious? Was he just trying to fuck with him? Jamie wasn’t the type to be gratuitously cruel. John could recall more than one occasion where Jamie had gotten into a fight with someone trying to make fun of him for being gay, so it seemed unlikely that Jamie was joking. It was even more doubtful in light of the unspoken agreement to never reference John’s attraction to Jamie. But it seemed equally doubtful that Jamie was being serious. John could still picture his face when Jamie had shut him down, it wasn’t open to suggestion. Jamie had been clear, there was no reciprocation.</p><p>John stood up suddenly. Jamie lived about 10 minutes away. He was obviously at home. Why not go straighten this out right now? He started for the door, but stopped. What if he showed up and it was all a joke? What if Jamie was just trying to make a funny video and John showed up taking it seriously?</p><p>“Serves him right, in that case.” John said, and before he could lose his nerve he grabbed his keys and left. He climbed into his car, and then sent a snap of him in the car that said:</p><p>“I’m coming over”</p><p>Before he could even back out of the driveway, there was a new message. Jamie, on his stomach with his head on his arms.</p><p>“I wanna ruin our friendship”</p><p>John’s heartbeat sped up. That seemed too much for a joke. Was it possible Jamie really wanted more?</p><p>“You bloody fucking Scot," John muttered, tossing his phone on the passenger seat. He didn’t bother replying to the message, just reversed out of the driveway and headed for Jamie’s house. Of course he hit every stoplight on the way. He was sitting at the last one, impatiently drumming his hands on the wheel, when his phone chirped. Jamie again. John opened it quickly with an eye on the light in case it changed. Jamie was still on his stomach, this time with his eyes closed and his head tilted to the left. His red hair was threaded with gold and framed his face.</p><p><em>He really has fantastic cheekbones,</em> John thought absently, and then he read the message.</p><p>“We should be lovers instead”</p><p>John stared at that until a horn blared behind him. He jumped and hit the gas too hard, causing the car to lurch. He felt like his brain was short circuiting, he couldn’t process what was happening. He pulled into Jamie’s driveway, almost dinging the man’s truck. He barely remembered to shut off the car before leaping out and stumbling up the walk.</p><p>
  <em>Get it together, Grey, you look like an idiot right now.</em>
</p><p>He paused to take a few deep breaths before knocking on the front door. The door opened, and there was Jamie. John started to hold up his phone and say “What the hell is going on” but he only managed a squawk before Jamie grabbed his jacket with both hands and hauled him inside. Jamie turned, kicking the door shut behind him, and then stopped.<br/>They were face to face, so close John could feel Jamie’s breath on his cheek. Jamie let go of the jacket and moved his hands to John’s neck, cupping his face. John couldn’t breathe, let alone form words. He wanted to ask a thousand questions and he wanted to stay like this forever. Jamie tentatively ran a thumb over John’s lower lip. John stood frozen, not wanting to inadvertently break whatever spell Jamie was under. After a long, long, long moment, Jamie leaned down and closed the gap. His lips pressed lightly against John’s, sending a million tiny shockwaves through his body. John was fairly certain his hair was standing on end. Then Jamie pulled back and searched John’s face for a reaction.</p><p>John swallowed, then carefully placed his hands on Jamie’s broad chest. He took a deep breath, and said,</p><p>“I am not opposed to what is happening here but I would like to know exactly what IS happening.”</p><p>His voice sounded normal, which surprised John, considering he feel like he was both burning alive and drowning. Jamie snorted and moved his hands from John’s face to his arms.</p><p>“What’s happening? I’ll tell ye what’s happening, I’m an idiot, that’s what. Or I have been. Do ye want a beer?”</p><p>John blinked, then said “I....yes, I guess....sure?”</p><p>Jamie smiled and said “C’mon, sit down and I’ll fetch them.”</p><p>Jamie led John to the couch, then went into the kitchen to grab a couple beers. John felt light headed. Did that really just happen? He could hear Jamie banging around in the kitchen. Jamie. Did Jamie Fraser really just kiss him? John leaned forward, not sure if he was going to vomit or pass out. Jamie Fraser. The man he had been in love with for years. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to concentrate. Had he missed something? Scrubbing his hands over his face, he tried desperately to recall any signal or sign he might have overlooked, but he couldn’t come up with any. His head was filled with a buzzing static, it was impossible to think straight. </p><p>He took a deep breath and sat up as Jamie came back into the living room. The man was carrying a tray with four bottles of beer in an ice bucket, one mug, a block of cheese, a roll of salami and some crackers. He set it down on the coffee table and dug into his pocket for his knife, saying,</p><p>“I ken ye prefer yer beer in a glass an I thought ye might want a snack.”</p><p>He used the edge of his knife to pop the top off of a bottle, then poured the contents into the mug and handed it to John.</p><p><em>Good Lord, he’s nervous!</em> John thought in astonishment. Jamie’s hand weren’t shaking, but he exuded an anxious energy that was almost tangible. John had never see Jamie like this. He stared as Jamie removed the cap of another bottle, then sat down on a chair across from John.</p><p>“Do ye want some cheese? I can slice some for you.”</p><p>Jamie started to get up again but John said,</p><p>“Jamie.”</p><p>The other man stopped and looked at him, almost guiltily. John took a swig of his beer and set it down on the table. Then he leaned forward and said,</p><p>“Explain.”</p><p>Jamie paused, and then nodded. He took a long pull off his bottle and set it on the tray, then wiped his hands down his thighs and leaned forward, mirroring John’s posture. He took a fortifying breath, then said,</p><p>“I saw ye today.”</p><p>John blinked.</p><p>“You.....saw me today.”</p><p>“Aye, with that other man.”</p><p>“What, Tim? You mean you saw me on my date?”</p><p>Jamie made a motion suspiciously like a flinch at the word “date” and nodded.</p><p>“Aye, Tim, unless ye saw multiple men today.”</p><p>John snorted incredulously, but gestured for Jamie to carry on while he took another sip of beer.</p><p>“Ye were feeding ducks in the park. I was gonnae to come over and say hello but then I heard ye laugh at something the other man said and the look on yer face told me it was a date, and ye probably dinnae want me crashing it.”</p><p>John nodded at that and Jamie smiled briefly at him, but sobered as he continued.</p><p>“Once I kent it was a date, I got the strangest feeling in my wame and I wanted to fight someone.”</p><p>Jamie’s fist curled at the memory, then he relaxed. He reached for his bottle and took another pull, wiped his mouth with his other hand, and set it back down.</p><p>“So I left. I went to the gym to burn off some energy. I....was confused. I’ve always cared about you and I think ye ken that, but this felt different. I was....John, I was jealous.”</p><p>John, who had been taking a drink, started choking. Jamie jumped up and pounded on his back, which really didn’t help. John waved him away, sputtering,</p><p>“Fine, I’m fine, give me a minute.”</p><p>“I’ll grab you some napkins.”</p><p>Jamie went to the kitchen and came back with a wad of paper towels. He handed them to John, who dutifully wiped his face with them. Jamie sat back down but appeared to be thinking something over. John waited for a few moments, then prompted,</p><p>“You were jealous?”</p><p>He tried to keep his voice neutral but evidently failed, because Jamie shot him a narrow look.</p><p>“Aye, jealous.”</p><p>Jamie sighed.</p><p>“Well, after I finished at the gym, I resolved to go home and see if a wee dram would help me puzzle out whatever it was I was feeling, but then I saw ye again at the coffee shop. What was his name, Tim? Tim was showing ye something on his phone and the way he smiled at you made me see red. But it also made me realize that-“</p><p>Jamie broke off and swallowed hard, as if to dislodge something stuck in his throat. John watched his Adam’s apple bob. His mind was curiously blank, and he waited as patiently as possible for Jamie to collect himself. Jamie inhaled sharply through his nose, then said quickly,</p><p>“I realized I have feelings for you.”</p><p>John felt light headed again.</p><p>“And I think.....I think I’ve had feelings for you for a while now. I just wasnae being honest with myself. Anyway, that was when I sent the first message. I’ve had that damn song stuck in my head for days, maybe it was a sign.”</p><p>John closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. That helped a little so he did it again. When he opened his eyes, Jamie was staring at him with a look of concern, his ruddy eyebrows drawn tight together.</p><p>“Are ye all right there, John? I havnae offended you, have I? You look pale.”</p><p>John exhaled slowly and shook his head.</p><p>“No, I’m....I think I’m all right. I just need a minute.”</p><p>He reached for his glass and picked it up. He swirled the beer around, then drained what was left. Looking at the glass rather than Jamie, he said,</p><p>“A few years ago, I made a move to hold your hand. You threatened to kill me if I tried it again. I think you were being hyperbolic at the time but I have to ask.”</p><p>He looked up and met Jamie’s blue eyes.</p><p>“What changed?”</p><p>Jamie closed his eyes and sat back. He was silent for a long minute, then he straightened. He drained the rest of his beer, and opened the other two bottles with efficient pops. After refilling John’s glass he gestured to the cheese and crackers, but John shook his head. Finally, he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. His eyes were on the bottle in his hands as he said quietly,</p><p>“A long time ago, someone hurt me. Badly. It was before I even met ye. This person, he hurt me in ways I’m still working to process. I’m no ready to tell ye everything, but I can tell ye I’m sorry.”</p><p>He looked up, and John could see the turmoil in his clear blue eyes. It made him want to get up and go to him, to hold him, but he knew Jamie well enough to know this wasn’t the time. Instead, he held Jamie’s gaze and nodded. Jamie went on.</p><p>“I didnae realize it at the time, but I was reacting to him, not you. I hurt ye deeply, and that wasnae fair to ye. I dinnae ken why ye stuck around or why ye put up with my arse but I’m grateful. And I want ye to continue.”</p><p>Jamie got up and walked around the table to sit on the couch next to John. He set his bottle next to John’s glass, then turned towards him. Placing a hand on a John’s knee, he spoke again.</p><p>“I meant what I said. I’m sorry it took this long to get my head out of my arse but I want more than friendship.”</p><p>A shadow crossed Jamie’s face as a thought occurred to him.</p><p>“As long as ye will still have me, that is.”</p><p>John felt tears well up in his eyes. Still have him? Of course he would still have him. How could Jamie think otherwise? But his voice wasn’t working. Instead, he lifted his hand to Jamie’s cheek, rough with a 5 o’clock shadow. He rubbed his thumb on Jamie’s cheekbone, then slid his hand through those red locks. He pulled Jamie in and kissed him softly. John felt Jamie’s grip tighten on his knee, then the hand moved to his face. The two men moved apart a bit, and John realized he was crying only after Jamie wiped the tears from his cheek. John took a deep, wavering breath and said,</p><p>“You don’t know how much I needed to hear that. Of course, of COURSE I’ll have you.”</p><p>Jamie gave a short laugh of relief, then shifted so both hands were on John’s face and kissed him again.</p><p>“I wasnae sure what ye would say. I ken this willnae be easy, I have a lot of making up to do, but John....yer worth it.“</p><p>Jamie moved his hands to hold John’s in his lap.</p><p>“I ken I still need to formally ask. John, would ye like to ruin our friendship?”</p><p>John straightened and, looking straight into the eyes of the man he loved, said,</p><p>“James Alexander Malcom MacKenzie Fraser, I would love to ruin our friendship.”</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>